Monday, October 27, 2008

Unity Candle

I'm breaking away from my normal "Organizational Monday" to write about a memory from our wedding.

This weekend we went to a wedding and they had the unity candle lighting portion. I am always reminded of how the lighting of our unity candle went with a slight problem during our wedding ceremony.

The conditions of our wedding day: 1. It had been a heat wave the week before -- in the upper 90s and lower 100s. The day of our wedding was had cooled down to 89 degrees in August. 2. The church had no air conditioning. 3. Large fans were strategically placed to blow on the wedding party. 4. Our unity candle was placed in front the pew my parents were sitting on. The candle was behind us

So before the wedding, my sister-in-law (to be) came and asked if the candles for the unity candle should be lite before the wedding. I said yes. The wedding ceremony was about 30 minutes into it before we turned around to light the unity candle. Except all I saw was my mom laughing. The side candles had burned down to about an inch because of the heat and the fans. The embellishments we decorated on the candle slightly burned the side of the candle. There was no way we could pick up the candles and do the lighting. The pastor went and got the what they use to light the candelabra on the alter. It was large and awkward. But it did the trick. One at a time we light our unity candle. It made us smile.

But the real symbolism for is this: You can't plan everything. Parts of life will go wrong and how you deal with it is the key to succeeding in marriage or life. We didn't stress over it. I wasn't sure what to do, but it didn't upset us or anger us. And that really makes me realize this was just the beginning of situations we will have to overcome in our lives together. Our themes in the wedding were love, kindness, patience, compassion, and "real" love. We made sure to enjoy the day and really didn't put that much pressure to make it perfect. I couldn't find a good picture of the burnt candle -- maybe the photographer thought we would want to remember that. But I think it is one of the best parts of the wedding. I have saved the candle and will always remember that no matter how hard you try, life never gives you what you expect. You just gotta go with it.

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